Navy approves first ever Satanist
The British Navy, that is.
Naval technician Chris Cranmer, 24, has been allowed to register by the captain of HMS Cumberland. The move will mean that he will now be allowed to perform Satanic rituals on board the vessel.
What about his bunkmate? You know that poor bastard's going to wake up one night and see this guy standing over him with a knife and a goat head.
I didn't really know what Satanism was about until I read this article, though, and my eyes were certainly opened:
Followers live by the Nine Satanic Statements, which include "Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence", "Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek" and "Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification".
If you screw up as a Satanist, is Heaven your eternal punishment?
"THE WINGS! GET THEM OFF! AAAAAAAAAA!"
Just wondering.
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