Some people see signs of divine providence in the clouds, or hear the voice of God in a dream. This nutball had divine intervention strike at lunch.
Really. She saw the face of the Virgin Mary 10 years ago on the toast of her grilled cheese sandwich. So what did she do?
She put the sandwich in a clear plastic box with cotton balls and kept it on her night stand.
Which is the modern version of what they did with relics in Medieval times. Back then, they would take an oaken box and line it with the fluff gathered from a monk's navel.
At first, she was scared by the image, "but now that I realize how unique it is, I wanted to share it with the world," Duyser said.
So she tried to sell it on eBay. She almost got to share it with someone for the low low price of $22,000, until eBay pulled her ad. Amazingly enough, they seemed to think it was a joke.
The sandwich, she added, has never sprouted a spore of mold.
And we dare doubt its divinity? After all, the Virgin was well known for her tidy house. She is the Lady of the Duster, as well as the Immaculate Mother of Clean Baseboards. I keep a baking soda Virgin statue in my fridge and I've never had so much as a wilted lettuce leaf, nor has my milk absorbed the odor of red onion.
(and now I'll stop, because I think it's impossible for me to lapse any further as a Catholic)
UPDATE: The auction has been reopened.
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