Go, Hard Rock, go!

Now this is an appropriate response to criticism.

Experts: New billboard lampoons regulators

Though it stands more than eight miles away, a not-so-tongue-in-cheek billboard towering above the Hard Rock Hotel could cast a heavy shadow on Friday's Nevada Gaming Commission meeting near downtown Las Vegas.

State regulators and Hard Rock representatives are scheduled to discuss at the Sawyer Building recent complaints that the edge-pushing gaming company's risqué advertising efforts reflect poorly on the gaming industry and state.

Stop. For years, I've been looking at a lineup of bare asses for "Crazy Girls" at the Riviera with the cheesy line, "No ifs, ands, or . . ." Nearly every cab in town has some medical miracle on its signs, advertising for strip joints. "Reflect poorly?" Puh-leeeeeeze.

Arguments and accusations covering everything from free speech to the moral and economic well-being of the community will no doubt bombard the commission chambers, but several sources who've followed the issue insist the Hard Rock is already mocking regulators with its latest promotional effort.

Good.

Several weeks ago, Hard Rock erected a billboard that depicts a cartoon cat, two rabbits and a wood-chewing beaver next to its hotel-casino at 4455 Paradise Road.

While the sign touts itself as "Another clean & inoffensive billboard from your friends at the Hard Rock," others claim it's simply a reprise of the suggestive content that led to the company's $300,000 Gaming Control Board settlement that was rejected by the Nevada Gaming Commission and then Friday's commission hearing.

"It's a pussy, a beaver and some bunnies, and we all know what bunnies do," Scott Robertson, creative director for local ad firm the Merica Agency, said Wednesday. "Because it's not so overt, maybe people are OK with that, but given that there's a looming controversy, it shocked me.

I know Scott. The first thing he did was laugh his ass off. The second thing he did was wish he'd thought of it.

"To me, this is blatant thumbing their nose at the gaming commission."

Which is exactly what's so damn great about it.

That opinion was echoed by Patti Gerace, a Walker Furniture marketer who serves as executive board member of the Las Vegas Advertising Federation. She chuckled at the sign's use of animals and objects whose names are common euphemisms for genitalia or depict sexual activity.

"Because I know who they (Hard Rock) are and what they've portrayed in the past, I know what they're trying to say," Gerace said. "I see a beaver and some rabbits doing it. It's not very nice. ... It's clever, it's cute, but I still think people will find it offensive if they look at it in that way."

Yes, there are always people who will look at it 'in that way.' These are the same people that demanded compensation because they were terrorized by Janet Jackson's boobie. Puckered fuckers.

Robertson compared the billboard to the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority's "What happens here, stays here" campaign, which hints at untoward activities but never depicts them.

"It's up to our dirty minds to apply what we know that double meaning is," Robertson said of the Hard Rock billboard. "The fact that it's sort of rebelling by still being sexual, without being overtly sexual, intersects with the core values of the Hard Rock brand, which is sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll."

Frequent Hard Rock critic Michael Wixom contends the company's decision to flaunt a sex-charged message -- albeit it one veiled amid seemingly innocent cartoon characters -- threatens state gaming regulators' ability to govern Nevada's largest industry.

"It's beyond what I think is in good taste or you think is in good taste," said Wixom, a local attorney who founded the Main Street Billboard Committee advocacy group. "The minute you undermine the Gaming Control Board or Gaming Commission to any degree, you undermine what they've done over the last 40 years to create our community. ... It's something we have to be concerned about."

Then you'd better gird your shrunken loins and go after The Palms for their shitty "Skin" billboards, or TI for the Tangerine Ultra Lounge boards that say "Come Shaven." Are you ready to face Mandalay Bay and Bally's as well, you axe-grinding asshole?

Despite the topic's subjectivity, Wixom said the commission is within its powers to regulate the ad content of gaming license holders. The American Civil Liberties Union, Nevada Resort Association and Hard Rock have countered such restrictions violate the First Amendment.

That's enough. I admit I was shocked by the Hard Rock's balls. During NFR (National Finals Rodeo), their billboard depicted a pair of supermodel legs with panties around her ankles. The line: "Get ready to buck all night." Another showed a girl lying naked, stomach-down on a strewn deck of cards: "Sometimes you have to cheat." But the photography has always been gorgeous, the design good, and the lines delivered with a wink. They've hit their target dead on.

And let's not forget this: Las Vegas was, is, and always will be Sin City - no matter what the community leaders say. The main industry is Vice Peddling. Gaming and hotel rooms drive our economy. People come here to drink too much, gamble too much, and have lots and lots of monkey sex.

So I'm glad the Hard Rock isn't afraid to embrace what we really are. And I hope they can continue to stick it to the hypocrites.