I've been in Hollywood the last two days, casting for a TV spot I'm shooting next week. This is, believe it or not, one of the toughest parts of my job.
Two days, morning to night, sitting in a dark room watching non-union actors audition. There is so much pain involved in the process: the pain of hearing, for the first time, the lines that clunk in my script. Then there's the pain of watching actors that clunk, period. There's a pain in my ass from the couch I've been on too long.
I've been on the lookout, especially, for Actors' Tics. These are the things used by a bad actor to convey emotion. The most popular is The Squint, resulting in Actor's Forehead. Try it. Say something profound and squint at the same time. Your forehead will furrow, giving the impression of Deep Thought.
Another good one is The Lip Bite. This conveys conflict, mostly of the inner variety. Try it. Say something about illicit love, then bite your lip. Instant Conflicted Emotion.
If you can do both The Squint and The Lip Bite at once? Audition gold, baby. The job is yours. You're our "MAN 1," and you'll enjoy a full five seconds of screen time during the morning news commercial breaks in Las Vegas. Congratulations.
2 comments:
I've been that actor, too. That's why it's all so transparent.
It's also why I'm a writer. For now, anyway.
This afternoon, I've hated one of my lines so much I plugged my ears every time the actors got to it. The line won't make it to Monday, but it's been AWFUL in the meantime.
Actually, I'm still at the casting session and I just heard it AGAIN! And she did the Lip Bite afterward!
I am squinting AND biting my lip this very second, feeling deeper and more profound even as I do it.
Maybe I need to go ask for a raise while all these acting tools are fresh in my mind.
Now if I could just squeeze out a tear!
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