First days

My son's first day of first grade was Monday. I was excited, he was nervous. We waited outside his classroom with his new classmates and at 8:50 am, the temperatures were already in the 90s. As he got hotter, and the kids around him got louder, I could see him reaching critical mass - his nervousness finally boiling over.

"Mom," he said, his voice small, "I'm scared." He bent his head forward and I watched a large, fat tear drop to the ground in front of his new sneakers.

I think that's the exact moment my heart broke.

I bent down to him, my face level with his, and I encouraged him as best as I could; but the teacher arrived to take him away, and off he went, red-eyed and sadly waving.

I worried all day, expecting a call from the school telling me he was distraught, to come get him, that he's just too young for first grade (he just turned six two weeks ago). I watched the clock, and the moment I could leave to pick him up I was out the door.

When I found him, waiting outside his class, he was with a friend from Kindergarten. When he saw me, he cried out "Mommy!" and ran to me, launching himself into my arms.

That's the exact moment my heart mended.

His first day began with a little trauma, but ended so well.

We all know how the first day of school is going in Beslan, Russia. It's Thursday there right now, and there's no resolution to the horrors the children face. It scares me to the bone to know that Russia doesn't have the best track record when it comes to bloodlessly ending conflicts with the Chechen rebels, and I can't imagine being a parent of one of those children, certainly knowing that fact.

It's things like this that show, beyond a doubt, what evil truly is.

I want their first day of school to end well, too - how well is a matter of perspective, though. If this can end without another death, that's the absolute best we can hope for. A lot of damage has already been done. Now, we can only wish for damage control.

Please pray for them. I do.

And I can't wait to hold my own child again.