Before I continue, I just have to say that nothing has appeared in my pants "by accident" since I was three.
Onward . . .
The Borowitz Report has very good news:
OSAMA FOUND IN SANDY BERGER’S PANTS
War on Terror Over
The war on terror came to an unexpectedly abrupt end today as the al-Qaeda network kingpin Osama bin Laden was found hiding in the pants of former national security adviser Sandy Berger.
While lawmakers on both sides of the aisle celebrated the discovery of Mr. bin Laden in the former White House aide’s trousers, this latest episode left Mr. Berger, once again, with much explaining to do.
The former adviser to President Clinton said that his lawyers would not permit him to divulge how, when, or why the world’s most wanted man had found safe haven in his pants, but he did tell reporters, “It was an honest mistake.”
At the White House, President George W. Bush ordered an immediate and thorough search of Mr. Berger’s pants “to see what else might be in there,” hinting that the discovery of Saddam Hussein’s long-sought weapons of mass destruction might be at hand.
With the war on terror suddenly over, the White House was said to be casting about for another human emotion to declare war upon, with many speculating that the U.S. would soon announce a war on irritability or shyness.
Hee hee.
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