ad-awards.com posts the best of international TV advertising.
Including this gem for Gap.
Have fun, all.
1.17.2006
1.16.2006
Something Viral
1.12.2006
Las Vegas is in the top five!
In being mean to the homeless.
You first. After all, you want to BE one of those Washington morons.
Here's the whole list, straight from the source:
1. Sarasota, FL
2. Lawrence, KS
3. Little Rock, AR
4. Atlanta, GA
5. Las Vegas, NV
6. Dallas, TX
7. Houston, TX
8. San Juan, PR
9. Santa Monica, CA
10. Flagstaff, AZ
11. San Francisco, CA
12. Chicago, IL
13. San Antonio, TX
14. New York City, NY
15. Austin, TX
16. Anchorage, AK
17. Phoenix, AZ
18. Los Angeles, CA
19. St. Louis, MO
20. Pittsburgh, PA
Wait . . . Santa Monica?!? Those homeless guys have it made! Good weather, beach views, lots of benches. I never expected THEM to make the list.
Anyway, I thought the whole report was interesting in light of Hizzoner's State of the City speech, which was nothing but moonlight and roses.
From yesterday's R-J:
STATE OF THE CITY ADDRESS: Goodman banishes cynicism in speech
It would also appear he's banished reality.
Funny, isn't it, that this hit the Las Vegas Sun this morning:
Homeless program missing mark
Plan fails to place even one mentally ill person in housing
Because those crazies are hard to wrangle. They miss appointments. They lose their vouchers. They run when you call them.
So what's the point of all this?
That here, as always, there's a complete disconnect between intent and implementation. We have resources, but they get mismanaged. Because nobody is paying attention. The mayor can't (or, more to the point, won't) look beneath his own ponderous nose because he doesn't want to acknowledge the unpleasant. He wants the city to be all sparkly neon and happy visitors.
He doesn't want to do the hardest work of all – considered and competent address of real city issues. Plopping more pretty buildings and a professional sports team into the center of town won't make the problems go away. It will only exacerbate them.
But then I remember: it's not really Oscar Goodman's fault. After all, he's not really in charge of Las Vegas.
The casino industry and real estate developers are.
National advocacy groups for the homeless have once again named the city to their list of "meanest" cities in America. This year, Las Vegas ranks fifth, after Sarasota, Fla.; Lawrence, Kan.; Little Rock, Ark.; and Atlanta.
"You guys are always a mean city," said Michael Stoops, acting executive director of the Washington, D.C.,-based National Coalition for the Homeless. "Las Vegas continues to harass and criminalize homelessness."
The coalition joined the National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty in compiling the list and its accompanying report, entitled "A Dream Denied: The Criminalization of Homelessness in U.S. Cities."
Las Vegas has fallen in the rankings since it was named the No. 1 "meanest" city in the nation in 2003, the year after Mayor Oscar Goodman made derogatory remarks about the homeless in his State of the City address and was criticized for Las Vegas' downtown homeless "sweeps."
In 2004, the city fell to fourth place. The coalition didn't release a list in 2005.
Stoops said the fall in rank has more to do with other cities becoming harsher toward the homeless than with Las Vegas treating homeless people better. "It just means other cities are now being meaner than Las Vegas," he said.
Mayor Goodman called the ranking "nuts."
"Those people out of Washington are morons," he said. "They should jump in the lake."
You first. After all, you want to BE one of those Washington morons.
Goodman cited the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development's decision to give Las Vegas $5.4 million in 2005 federal homeless assistance program funds for homeless services as one indication the city isn't so mean.
"We are spending it to create 18 new units of permanent housing for the chronically homeless and mentally ill, 75 new units for homeless veterans and 28 new units of transitional housing for homeless youth and young adults," the mayor said.
Linda Lera-Randle El, an advocate for the homeless who runs the Straight from the Streets outreach program in Las Vegas, said the city has improved slightly, but still has a long way to go.
"When you are giving out trespassing and jaywalking tickets to homeless people, it's just harassment," she said. "If you or I got stuck in the crosswalk, we wouldn't have to go to the Regional Justice Center to explain why."
The national advocacy groups looked at 224 U.S. cities and ranked their top 20 based on the number of anti-homeless laws -- such as those making it illegal to sleep, eat or sit in public spaces -- in the city, the enforcement of those laws and the general political climate toward homeless people.
"Las Vegas has always gotten an F (in those areas)," Stoops said. "Someday I hope the city will quit criminalizing homelessness and they'll get off the list."
Here's the whole list, straight from the source:
1. Sarasota, FL
2. Lawrence, KS
3. Little Rock, AR
4. Atlanta, GA
5. Las Vegas, NV
6. Dallas, TX
7. Houston, TX
8. San Juan, PR
9. Santa Monica, CA
10. Flagstaff, AZ
11. San Francisco, CA
12. Chicago, IL
13. San Antonio, TX
14. New York City, NY
15. Austin, TX
16. Anchorage, AK
17. Phoenix, AZ
18. Los Angeles, CA
19. St. Louis, MO
20. Pittsburgh, PA
Wait . . . Santa Monica?!? Those homeless guys have it made! Good weather, beach views, lots of benches. I never expected THEM to make the list.
Anyway, I thought the whole report was interesting in light of Hizzoner's State of the City speech, which was nothing but moonlight and roses.
From yesterday's R-J:
STATE OF THE CITY ADDRESS: Goodman banishes cynicism in speech
It would also appear he's banished reality.
Funny, isn't it, that this hit the Las Vegas Sun this morning:
Homeless program missing mark
Plan fails to place even one mentally ill person in housing
Nearly 18 months after its launch, a $1.5-million program to help the Las Vegas Valley's mentally ill homeless people get off the street has not housed a single person.
Because those crazies are hard to wrangle. They miss appointments. They lose their vouchers. They run when you call them.
So what's the point of all this?
That here, as always, there's a complete disconnect between intent and implementation. We have resources, but they get mismanaged. Because nobody is paying attention. The mayor can't (or, more to the point, won't) look beneath his own ponderous nose because he doesn't want to acknowledge the unpleasant. He wants the city to be all sparkly neon and happy visitors.
He doesn't want to do the hardest work of all – considered and competent address of real city issues. Plopping more pretty buildings and a professional sports team into the center of town won't make the problems go away. It will only exacerbate them.
But then I remember: it's not really Oscar Goodman's fault. After all, he's not really in charge of Las Vegas.
The casino industry and real estate developers are.
1.11.2006
Today's implosion brought to you by . . .
Station Casinos.
The ex-Showboat, ex-Castaways went the way of the Sands, Hacienda, Dunes and El Rancho around dawn this morning.
Get the video here.
I'm not too misty about this one. It was an eyesore, and a real piece of crud property that had a piece of crud bowling alley where I was courted as a younger woman by my eventual ex-husband.
So it had that going for it.
The only downside to this whole thing is who bought it. Station Casinos.
They introduced a phrase to Las Vegas that never should have been invented: neighborhood casino.
"You're only minutes away from a Station," they crow, and it's true. I, in a master-planned community, am minutes away. My mother is, too. And so are all my friends, no matter where in the Valley we live.
I hate that.
And yet, they keep building more, because they can. They're making obscene amounts of money off the neighborhoods they're in. They have movie theaters, bowling alleys, and all kinds of restaurants, bars and lounges. And they have big babysitting joints in every one, so the kids have somewhere to play while mom and dad spend their college funds.
Gross.
It makes me wonder – when the rubble of the Showboat/Castaways is cleared and the next Stations offering opens it doors, will it really be that much of an improvement?
I doubt it.
The ex-Showboat, ex-Castaways went the way of the Sands, Hacienda, Dunes and El Rancho around dawn this morning.
Get the video here.
I'm not too misty about this one. It was an eyesore, and a real piece of crud property that had a piece of crud bowling alley where I was courted as a younger woman by my eventual ex-husband.
So it had that going for it.
The only downside to this whole thing is who bought it. Station Casinos.
They introduced a phrase to Las Vegas that never should have been invented: neighborhood casino.
"You're only minutes away from a Station," they crow, and it's true. I, in a master-planned community, am minutes away. My mother is, too. And so are all my friends, no matter where in the Valley we live.
I hate that.
And yet, they keep building more, because they can. They're making obscene amounts of money off the neighborhoods they're in. They have movie theaters, bowling alleys, and all kinds of restaurants, bars and lounges. And they have big babysitting joints in every one, so the kids have somewhere to play while mom and dad spend their college funds.
Gross.
It makes me wonder – when the rubble of the Showboat/Castaways is cleared and the next Stations offering opens it doors, will it really be that much of an improvement?
I doubt it.
1.10.2006
The spot that should have run, but didn't have to.
One of my favorite TV commercials ever produced was, typically, a viral ad.
It featured a suicide bomber failing in his mission to blow up two shadowy characters in a crowded sidewalk cafe because he made the mistake of punching the detonator inside his VW Polo.
So I'm not the most sensitive person in the world. I laughed until I nearly wet myself.
A year later, after loads of people weighed in on one side or the other (One side: "that's disgusting!" The other: "lighten up."), and after the makers issued a formal apology for making the spot, VW has a fluffy guardian-angel campaign to make us forget all that nastiness.
Though they'd never admit to doing such a thing, I'd be willing to bet VW did some research on how the Polo sold after the viral spot made its rounds and caused its controversy. I'd also be willing to bet there were a lot of interested potential buyers.
I'd imagine, though, interest dropped in the 18 – 30 Middle Eastern male demographic.
It featured a suicide bomber failing in his mission to blow up two shadowy characters in a crowded sidewalk cafe because he made the mistake of punching the detonator inside his VW Polo.
So I'm not the most sensitive person in the world. I laughed until I nearly wet myself.
A year later, after loads of people weighed in on one side or the other (One side: "that's disgusting!" The other: "lighten up."), and after the makers issued a formal apology for making the spot, VW has a fluffy guardian-angel campaign to make us forget all that nastiness.
Though they'd never admit to doing such a thing, I'd be willing to bet VW did some research on how the Polo sold after the viral spot made its rounds and caused its controversy. I'd also be willing to bet there were a lot of interested potential buyers.
I'd imagine, though, interest dropped in the 18 – 30 Middle Eastern male demographic.
1.07.2006
RIP, Ramona Bell
Art Bell's wife, Ramona, died of an asthma attack while on vacation in Laughlin.
If you're not familiar with Art, then you've missed the rare pleasure of static-y late night AM radio broadcasts covering subjects like alien abduction, Area 51, experimental aircraft, haunted houses, wormholes, demonic possessions and backyard Bermuda Triangles.
One of my favorite shows featured a caller that claimed you could defend yourself against the Rapture by covering your windows and doors with Saran Wrap and duct tape.
Duct tape. Good for biological attacks and other forms of Armageddon.
Every single time some weird streak was seen in the sky (which happens a lot around here), Art's lines would light up with the faithful and their theories.
I haven't listened much since Art semi-retired, and I find myself missing the madness. So I'm quite sorry for his loss, and my prayers go out to Art and his family.
If you're not familiar with Art, then you've missed the rare pleasure of static-y late night AM radio broadcasts covering subjects like alien abduction, Area 51, experimental aircraft, haunted houses, wormholes, demonic possessions and backyard Bermuda Triangles.
One of my favorite shows featured a caller that claimed you could defend yourself against the Rapture by covering your windows and doors with Saran Wrap and duct tape.
Duct tape. Good for biological attacks and other forms of Armageddon.
Every single time some weird streak was seen in the sky (which happens a lot around here), Art's lines would light up with the faithful and their theories.
I haven't listened much since Art semi-retired, and I find myself missing the madness. So I'm quite sorry for his loss, and my prayers go out to Art and his family.
1.06.2006
Ten Questions (and a bonus)
Ken stole it from WunderKraut, and I've taken it from Ken.
Where Were You, What Were You Doing And How Did You Feel When…:
1. You found out about 9/11
My life was already changing drastically: it was the day before I was moving out of the house, separating from my husband for good. Boxes of my things were all over, ready for when I could get the truck. 7:30 that morning (West Coast time), I got Conor up for toons and breakfast so I could get ready for work. He was just barely three and holding my hand when I turned the TV on. It was on ABC, and I couldn't process what I was seeing. Smoke was billowing out of what I recognized as one of the WTC towers. Then I remember saying, "where the fuck is the other one?" Thankfully, the boy didn't even know anything was wrong. I listened to the news coming from my clock radio the next night as I lay on an air mattress on the floor of my new bedroom. I'd never felt so alone or frightened in my life. And I haven't felt that way since.
2. The start of the FIRST Gulf War - When we began combat operations.
I was a receptionist/intern at a small civil engineering firm. I had the radio on, and they broke into programming with the sounds of bombs. I went into the main office and told everyone, "it just started. We're bombing Iraq." Being in an Air Force town made it all so strange. The base went into high security mode. Yellow ribbons were everywhere. I watched the war on CNN, just like everyone else, riveted by the tracers flying over Baghdad.
3. The Space Shuttle Challenger exploded
It was Junior year of high school, and I was in chemistry class. Mr. Leigh, my biology teacher from the past year, poked his head into the room and said, "the Space Shuttle just blew up." The horrible part was, we didn't believe him because he was a joker. He'd put wind-up toys on the overhead projector while we were taking notes. We spent the week before Christmas break watching "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." This was a sick (but wonderful) man. Then the principal came on the P.A. system and confirmed it. We spent the next five minutes led in prayer (Catholic school), and TVs were set up around the school so we could follow the coverage.
4. The Space Shuttle Columbia broke up during re-entry
On that Saturday morning, Miles and I went for a walk without seeing the news first. One of the neighborhood homes had a full-height flagpole and his flag was half-mast. We knew then that something was wrong. We went home and turned on the TV. I saw that William McCool was the pilot and I felt sick – I had been friends with Willie's younger brother, Shawn, and had met his parents, Barry and Audrey. Shawn had always spoken with such awe about his brother, and after hearing about his career, I understood why. Barry was a former Naval pilot and a wonderful, charming man who flirted with all of the girls, and Audrey was loving and brilliant. When I heard that Barry was going to Houston to join the investigation, my heart broke for all of them.
5. Reagan was shot
I was in middle school, and Sister Barbara, our principal (yes, another Catholic school), came over the P.A., told us and led us in prayer.
6. John Lennon was shot
My mom and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching "Little House on the Prairie" when it happened. NBC broke away from the show with a special report. My mother cried horribly. She had come of age during the Beatles' heyday and John was her absolute favorite. I worried about her for days because she was so sad. I think that, perhaps, the last of her hopeful adolescence died when he did.
7. The Pope was shot
I was in grade school, and Sister Barbara, our principal (you know the drill by now), told us over the P.A. We were taken into the church where we were led in prayer.
8. Berlin Wall came down
This is the point at which I was busily misspending my youth, so I was probably too drunk or self-centered to realize what was going on.
9. President Clinton was acquitted of impeachment
I was so disgusted by the whole thing that I didn't pay attention.
10. Election night 2000
That was like watching Forrest Gump play ping pong. You couldn't keep up. I do remember Tim Russert trying to calculate all the different "what if?" scenarios, obviously tired and flabbergasted, and I thought it was one of the strangest things I'd ever witnessed. Unfortunately, what happened in the following weeks was much, MUCH worse.
11. When Kennedy was shot (for my more mature readers)
I wasn't a twinkle. I was barely an egg. My mom was only 15, for heaven's sake.
Where Were You, What Were You Doing And How Did You Feel When…:
1. You found out about 9/11
My life was already changing drastically: it was the day before I was moving out of the house, separating from my husband for good. Boxes of my things were all over, ready for when I could get the truck. 7:30 that morning (West Coast time), I got Conor up for toons and breakfast so I could get ready for work. He was just barely three and holding my hand when I turned the TV on. It was on ABC, and I couldn't process what I was seeing. Smoke was billowing out of what I recognized as one of the WTC towers. Then I remember saying, "where the fuck is the other one?" Thankfully, the boy didn't even know anything was wrong. I listened to the news coming from my clock radio the next night as I lay on an air mattress on the floor of my new bedroom. I'd never felt so alone or frightened in my life. And I haven't felt that way since.
2. The start of the FIRST Gulf War - When we began combat operations.
I was a receptionist/intern at a small civil engineering firm. I had the radio on, and they broke into programming with the sounds of bombs. I went into the main office and told everyone, "it just started. We're bombing Iraq." Being in an Air Force town made it all so strange. The base went into high security mode. Yellow ribbons were everywhere. I watched the war on CNN, just like everyone else, riveted by the tracers flying over Baghdad.
3. The Space Shuttle Challenger exploded
It was Junior year of high school, and I was in chemistry class. Mr. Leigh, my biology teacher from the past year, poked his head into the room and said, "the Space Shuttle just blew up." The horrible part was, we didn't believe him because he was a joker. He'd put wind-up toys on the overhead projector while we were taking notes. We spent the week before Christmas break watching "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." This was a sick (but wonderful) man. Then the principal came on the P.A. system and confirmed it. We spent the next five minutes led in prayer (Catholic school), and TVs were set up around the school so we could follow the coverage.
4. The Space Shuttle Columbia broke up during re-entry
On that Saturday morning, Miles and I went for a walk without seeing the news first. One of the neighborhood homes had a full-height flagpole and his flag was half-mast. We knew then that something was wrong. We went home and turned on the TV. I saw that William McCool was the pilot and I felt sick – I had been friends with Willie's younger brother, Shawn, and had met his parents, Barry and Audrey. Shawn had always spoken with such awe about his brother, and after hearing about his career, I understood why. Barry was a former Naval pilot and a wonderful, charming man who flirted with all of the girls, and Audrey was loving and brilliant. When I heard that Barry was going to Houston to join the investigation, my heart broke for all of them.
5. Reagan was shot
I was in middle school, and Sister Barbara, our principal (yes, another Catholic school), came over the P.A., told us and led us in prayer.
6. John Lennon was shot
My mom and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching "Little House on the Prairie" when it happened. NBC broke away from the show with a special report. My mother cried horribly. She had come of age during the Beatles' heyday and John was her absolute favorite. I worried about her for days because she was so sad. I think that, perhaps, the last of her hopeful adolescence died when he did.
7. The Pope was shot
I was in grade school, and Sister Barbara, our principal (you know the drill by now), told us over the P.A. We were taken into the church where we were led in prayer.
8. Berlin Wall came down
This is the point at which I was busily misspending my youth, so I was probably too drunk or self-centered to realize what was going on.
9. President Clinton was acquitted of impeachment
I was so disgusted by the whole thing that I didn't pay attention.
10. Election night 2000
That was like watching Forrest Gump play ping pong. You couldn't keep up. I do remember Tim Russert trying to calculate all the different "what if?" scenarios, obviously tired and flabbergasted, and I thought it was one of the strangest things I'd ever witnessed. Unfortunately, what happened in the following weeks was much, MUCH worse.
11. When Kennedy was shot (for my more mature readers)
I wasn't a twinkle. I was barely an egg. My mom was only 15, for heaven's sake.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Now that New Orleans has been flattened, Las Vegas is trying to take over as the most politically-backward city in the nation.
Oh, my God.
Um. Because we're 86-percent STUPID.
So these are the Dem choices for Ensign's seat: a carpetbagger and a bloviator.
Harry Reid, for the position he's attained, shows some alarming choices in his "anointed" congressional candidates.
Dario Herrera, for example, just started his defense in his corruption trial.
And now, Hizzoner. The last time we heard from him, he was advocating removing the thumbs from taggers who defaced a $35,000 desert tortoise statue (the cleanup tab was $50,000). Every other time his quotes make the news, they're soaked in gin. He's constantly defending himself against local ethics charges.
When he's faced with real societal issues, he falters. His solution to our homeless situation is to bulldoze their shantytowns, content to believe that NONE of them want help. That there aren't a few wandering our streets that aren't mentally ill, willing to work or just plain in need of a leg up. And those that hand out blankets and sandwiches are enablers.
He's made a career of sweeping unpleasant things under the rug, first as a mob lawyer, and now as The Happiest Mayor In The Universe. His weekly press conferences are full of tap dancing, a lot of "look! Don't look at that dirty spot over there! Look here! I have Playmates! Aren't I a fun guy?"
His hijinks make him Las Vegas' number one partyboy – and admittedly, his image is perfect for Sin City.
With that admission, though, you must admit he has NO BUSINESS representing Nevada in the Senate. We only get two damn seats and Reid thinks it's a good idea to put his political capital behind Otter from Animal House?
The games pols play never fail to amaze me. This one has me stymied. It goes beyond tipping the balance in the Senate. Nobody, not even Reid, can imagine he'd control our favorite attention whore once he got on a truly national stage. And once he's out there, how many of his outrageous comments will seem quaint? And for how long?
Which makes me wonder: what on earth did Jack Carter do to piss Reid off?
Reid Pushes Las Vegas Mayor to Run For Senate Seat
Oh, my God.
Oscar Goodman and Nevada Senator Harry Reid have discussed the possibility of the Las Vegas mayor challenging republican John Ensign for his U.S. Senate seat. Ensign is up for re-election this year.
The democratic mayor has broad appeal, especially here in Southern Nevada where he got 86-percent of the vote in his last race.
Um. Because we're 86-percent STUPID.
If he does decide to run, he could face an interesting Democratic primary battle. Jack Carter, the son of former President Jimmy Carter, has started a website and is gauging support for a possible Senate run.
So these are the Dem choices for Ensign's seat: a carpetbagger and a bloviator.
Harry Reid, for the position he's attained, shows some alarming choices in his "anointed" congressional candidates.
Dario Herrera, for example, just started his defense in his corruption trial.
And now, Hizzoner. The last time we heard from him, he was advocating removing the thumbs from taggers who defaced a $35,000 desert tortoise statue (the cleanup tab was $50,000). Every other time his quotes make the news, they're soaked in gin. He's constantly defending himself against local ethics charges.
When he's faced with real societal issues, he falters. His solution to our homeless situation is to bulldoze their shantytowns, content to believe that NONE of them want help. That there aren't a few wandering our streets that aren't mentally ill, willing to work or just plain in need of a leg up. And those that hand out blankets and sandwiches are enablers.
He's made a career of sweeping unpleasant things under the rug, first as a mob lawyer, and now as The Happiest Mayor In The Universe. His weekly press conferences are full of tap dancing, a lot of "look! Don't look at that dirty spot over there! Look here! I have Playmates! Aren't I a fun guy?"
His hijinks make him Las Vegas' number one partyboy – and admittedly, his image is perfect for Sin City.
With that admission, though, you must admit he has NO BUSINESS representing Nevada in the Senate. We only get two damn seats and Reid thinks it's a good idea to put his political capital behind Otter from Animal House?
The games pols play never fail to amaze me. This one has me stymied. It goes beyond tipping the balance in the Senate. Nobody, not even Reid, can imagine he'd control our favorite attention whore once he got on a truly national stage. And once he's out there, how many of his outrageous comments will seem quaint? And for how long?
Which makes me wonder: what on earth did Jack Carter do to piss Reid off?
1.05.2006
Ouch
Fucking Trojans.
Still, what a game. Exciting to the very bitter end.
I'd like to give "props" to Vince Young. He surprised me, even if he didn't surprise anyone else. He deserves to go #1 in the NFL draft, and he definitely should leave school now, riding the equity he built from last night.
And as for Matt Leinart: did he always resemble a water buffalo? I swear, I thought he was quicker than that.
Oh, and Reggie: no more stupid-ass laterals for you, young man. I hope your eventual NFL coach fines you at least $50,000 every time you do something that infuriatingly dumb. Because I'm sure that'll be chump change to you, you inflated fuckstick.
That is all.
Still, what a game. Exciting to the very bitter end.
I'd like to give "props" to Vince Young. He surprised me, even if he didn't surprise anyone else. He deserves to go #1 in the NFL draft, and he definitely should leave school now, riding the equity he built from last night.
And as for Matt Leinart: did he always resemble a water buffalo? I swear, I thought he was quicker than that.
Oh, and Reggie: no more stupid-ass laterals for you, young man. I hope your eventual NFL coach fines you at least $50,000 every time you do something that infuriatingly dumb. Because I'm sure that'll be chump change to you, you inflated fuckstick.
That is all.
12.15.2005
What to do?
I got tired of this old world for a while. I disengaged, and decided my energy was much better spent huddling in my new home and taking care of my child.
Surprisingly, the world spun by quite nicely without me. I watched events like Katrina and Rita without comment. Rather, I donated where I thought it would do the most good and tried to find my old faith in God.
People became more polarized over Iraq, if that was possible. Between the calls to 'stay the course' and 'cut and run,' I wondered (without any real passion) where the real solutions lay.
Local politics even failed to interest me. Hizzoner could call for Saudi-style punishments for taggers. I just shrugged, because I no longer have any reason to expect the mayor to seriously address the problems of my city.
Plamegate? Meh.
Murtha? Meh.
Lebanon, even? Oh, well.
Apathy is strange to me, and I'm finally beginning to shake it off.
I've joined an e-mail political roundtable. I'm reading news again. I'm listening to radio.
Sometimes engagement is painful, but here's what's made it necessary: my son has started asking questions. He's paying attention, which means I have to.
So, despite my loss of faith, I'll say one more prayer – help me guide him to his own opinions. Help me help him know right from wrong without being too didactic. Help me teach him that hard right is just as wrong as hard left. And most of all, help me encourage him to think for himself.
I will try to be a good example.
Surprisingly, the world spun by quite nicely without me. I watched events like Katrina and Rita without comment. Rather, I donated where I thought it would do the most good and tried to find my old faith in God.
People became more polarized over Iraq, if that was possible. Between the calls to 'stay the course' and 'cut and run,' I wondered (without any real passion) where the real solutions lay.
Local politics even failed to interest me. Hizzoner could call for Saudi-style punishments for taggers. I just shrugged, because I no longer have any reason to expect the mayor to seriously address the problems of my city.
Plamegate? Meh.
Murtha? Meh.
Lebanon, even? Oh, well.
Apathy is strange to me, and I'm finally beginning to shake it off.
I've joined an e-mail political roundtable. I'm reading news again. I'm listening to radio.
Sometimes engagement is painful, but here's what's made it necessary: my son has started asking questions. He's paying attention, which means I have to.
So, despite my loss of faith, I'll say one more prayer – help me guide him to his own opinions. Help me help him know right from wrong without being too didactic. Help me teach him that hard right is just as wrong as hard left. And most of all, help me encourage him to think for himself.
I will try to be a good example.
9.22.2005
"Listen, Honey. I promise I'm not cheating. And I'll prove it if you buy me a hooker and a motel room so I can NOT have sex with her."
North Korea wants the United States to provide light-water nuclear reactors "as soon as possible" to demonstrate Pyongyang's right to peaceful nuclear acitivities, North Korea's deputy foreign minister said Thursday.
They have balls, I'll give them that.
9.11.2005
Four years
Never forget, they say. As if we could.
September 11.
You don't even need to add the year, because your mind will automatically fill in that space. Today, I will pray for those still attempting to fill their own empty spaces -- the families and friends of those who died.
There will be the inevitable news stories and, I see, one docu-drama about Flight 93 on Discovery Channel tonight. Though I won't intentionally watch any of it, I know I'll turn the channel and find the WTC collapsing. I used to think that we needed to see that footage once a month or so, just to remind us of who we're dealing with. But they have reminded us since then.
In Bali. In Madrid. In Beslan. In London. And always in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These are people that are directly opposed to us in every belief:
To us, every life is sacred. To them, every life is expendable.
To us, liberty is a right. To them, it's a sin.
To us, the law is a voice of reason. To them, it's the voice of Allah.
We cherish our children. They use them as weapons.
We hate brutality. They embrace it.
We operate out of hope. They are motivated by hate.
Our opposites. We'll never understand them. We'll never make them understand us. What we know or believe to be human nature doesn't exist in their case. It's almost like sharing the planet with another humanoid species -- it's hard to believe that we all come from earth. Yet we do, we have to share this place. Unfortunately, it would seem that co-existence is not an option.
I hate them for that lesson. I hate them for the world I must raise my son in. I hate that someday my son may have to deal, face to face, with his opposite -- a boy that was taught to hate liberty and life. A man that will carry no hope in his heart, other than the hope to kill and be a martyr.
Could we ever forget what this date taught us?
Not, I fear, as long as they exist to remind us.
September 11.
You don't even need to add the year, because your mind will automatically fill in that space. Today, I will pray for those still attempting to fill their own empty spaces -- the families and friends of those who died.
There will be the inevitable news stories and, I see, one docu-drama about Flight 93 on Discovery Channel tonight. Though I won't intentionally watch any of it, I know I'll turn the channel and find the WTC collapsing. I used to think that we needed to see that footage once a month or so, just to remind us of who we're dealing with. But they have reminded us since then.
In Bali. In Madrid. In Beslan. In London. And always in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These are people that are directly opposed to us in every belief:
To us, every life is sacred. To them, every life is expendable.
To us, liberty is a right. To them, it's a sin.
To us, the law is a voice of reason. To them, it's the voice of Allah.
We cherish our children. They use them as weapons.
We hate brutality. They embrace it.
We operate out of hope. They are motivated by hate.
Our opposites. We'll never understand them. We'll never make them understand us. What we know or believe to be human nature doesn't exist in their case. It's almost like sharing the planet with another humanoid species -- it's hard to believe that we all come from earth. Yet we do, we have to share this place. Unfortunately, it would seem that co-existence is not an option.
I hate them for that lesson. I hate them for the world I must raise my son in. I hate that someday my son may have to deal, face to face, with his opposite -- a boy that was taught to hate liberty and life. A man that will carry no hope in his heart, other than the hope to kill and be a martyr.
Could we ever forget what this date taught us?
Not, I fear, as long as they exist to remind us.
8.28.2005
My prayers are going South
As I write this, Katrina hasn't made landfall. By the time I get up tomorrow, she will have done most of her damage to NOLA and the shores of Mississippi and Alabama.
This doesn't feel like it's going to turn out well. Especially since I've never EVER read a government weather report where the writer has so thoroughly lost his nut. They pulled it off the NOAA website, but Drudge still had the text:
Oh, my God.
This doesn't feel like it's going to turn out well. Especially since I've never EVER read a government weather report where the writer has so thoroughly lost his nut. They pulled it off the NOAA website, but Drudge still had the text:
Urgent Weather Message from NWS New Orleans
DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED
HURRICANE KATRINA MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE OF 1969. MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED.
CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION.
PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK. POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.
THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED.
AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE CERTAIN WITHIN THE NEXT 12 TO 24 HOURS. ONCE TROPICAL STORM AND HURRICANE FORCE WINDS ONSET...DO NOT VENTURE OUTSIDE!
Oh, my God.
Back for a little fun
Okay, so I'm a little spotty here. There's been a lot going on, my stomach problems notwithstanding. I've been busier than hell at work, my dog needed surgery (but she's okay now, thank God), and I'm moving. That, plus the fact that my boy turned 7 this month and he has his first day of 2nd grade tomorrow has had me just a little frazzled.
Just a bit.
But over at Sheila's, there was something I couldn't ignore. You go to musicoutfitters.com, you enter the year you graduated high school in the search field, and then grab the top 100 songs from that year. Then you go through the list, bolding the ones you liked, striking out the ones you hated, and leaving the rest alone.
So here it is, in all its tawdry mid-80s glory. I give you 1987:
(And before we further, let me just say this was NOT a banner year for music. Eeesh.)
1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles
2. Alone, Heart
3. Shake You Down, Gregory Abbott
4. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me), Whitney Houston
5. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, Starship -- if I could double-strike this piece of crap, I would
6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil
7. Here I Go Again, Whitesnake -- I'll strike it just because of the video.
8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
9. Shakedown, Bob Seger
10. Livin' On A Prayer, Bon Jovi -- HATE it. Hated it from the moment I heard it.
11. La Bamba, Los Lobos
12. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung
13. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House -- I'm in love with Neil Finn. Forever and always.
14. Always, Atlantic Starr
15. With Or Without You, U2
16. Looking For A New Love, Jody Watley
17. Head To Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
18. I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany
19. Mony Mony, Billy Idol
20. At This Moment, Billy Vera and The Beaters
21. Lady In Red, Chris De Burgh -- I know. Shame on me.
22. Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston
23. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
24. I Want Your Sex, George Michael
25. Notorious, Duran Duran
26. Only In My Dreams, Debbie Gibson
27. (I've Had) The Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- come on. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
28. The Next Time I Fall, Peter Cetera and Amy Grant
29. Lean On Me, Club Nouveau
30. Open Your Heart, Madonna
31. Lost In Emotion, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
32. (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew
33. Heart And Soul, T'pau
34. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde
35. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Georgia Satellites
36. I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me), Aretha Franklin and George Michael
37. Control, Janet Jackson
38. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
39. U Got The Look, Prince
40. Land Of Confusion, Genesis
41. Jacob's Ladder, Huey Lewis and The News
42. Who's That Girl, Madonna -- what was with the Spanish, anyway?
43. You Got It All, Jets -- my song for a certain soccer player. Damn him.
44. Touch Me (I Want Your Body), Samantha Fox
45. I Just Can't Stop Loving You, Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett
46. Causing A Commotion, Madonna
47. In Too Deep, Genesis
48. Let's Wait Awhile, Janet Jackson
49. Hip To Be Square, Huey Lewis and the News
50. Will You Still Love Me?, Chicago
51. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac
52. Luka, Suzanne Vega
53. I Heard A Rumour, Bananarama
54. Don't Mean Nothing, Richard Marx
55. Songbird, Kenny G
56. Carrie, Europe
57. Don't Disturb This Groove, System
58. La Isla Bonita, Madonna
59. Bad, Michael Jackson -- oh, pul-leeeze.
60. Sign 'O' The Times, Prince
61. Change Of Heart, Cyndi Lauper
62. Come Go With Me, Expose
63. Can't We Try, Dan Hill
64. To Be A Lover, Billy Idol
65. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
66. Breakout, Swing Out Sister
67. Stand By Me, Ben E. King
68. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis
69. Someday, Glass Tiger
70. When Smokey Sings, ABC
71. Casanova, Levert
72. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
73. Rock Steady, Whispers
74. Wanted Dead Or Alive, Bon Jovi
75. Big Time, Peter Gabriel -- just for the line "and a snow-white pillow for my big, fat head."
76. The Finer Things, Steve Winwood
77. Let Me Be The One, Expose
78. Is This Love, Survivor
79. Diamonds, Herb Alpert
80. Point Of No Return, Expose
81. Big Love, Fleetwood Mac
82. Midnight Blue, Lou Gramm
83. Something So Strong, Crowded House
84. Heat Of The Night, Bryan Adams
85. Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You, Glenn Medeiros
86. Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen
87. Just To See Her, Smokey Robinson
88. Who Will You Run To, Heart
89. Respect Yourself, Bruce Willis -- he was so CUTE back then
90. Cross My Broken Heart, Jets -- damn DAMN soccer player
91. Victory, Kool and The Gang
92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders
93. Doing It All For My Baby, Huey Lewis and The News
94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club
95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie
96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins
97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew
98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys
99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo
100. Love You Down, Ready For The World
My three favorites of that year were U2, Crowded House, and the Beasties. They're all still my favorites. U2 is, well, the phenomenon that is U2. Crowded House is no more but Neil is out there, making his beautiful pop songs. And the Beasties are 40+ and better than ever.
I knew there'd come a day when I'd hear U2 on the classic rock stations. That the 80s would be far enough away for people to be nostalgic for them. That I'd play these songs in the car and my child would roll his eyes. I knew.
I just didn't know it would happen so fast.
Just a bit.
But over at Sheila's, there was something I couldn't ignore. You go to musicoutfitters.com, you enter the year you graduated high school in the search field, and then grab the top 100 songs from that year. Then you go through the list, bolding the ones you liked, striking out the ones you hated, and leaving the rest alone.
So here it is, in all its tawdry mid-80s glory. I give you 1987:
(And before we further, let me just say this was NOT a banner year for music. Eeesh.)
1. Walk Like An Egyptian, Bangles
2. Alone, Heart
6. C'est La Vie, Robbie Nevil
8. The Way It Is, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
9. Shakedown, Bob Seger
11. La Bamba, Los Lobos
12. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Chung
13. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House -- I'm in love with Neil Finn. Forever and always.
14. Always, Atlantic Starr
15. With Or Without You, U2
16. Looking For A New Love, Jody Watley
17. Head To Toe, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
19. Mony Mony, Billy Idol
21. Lady In Red, Chris De Burgh -- I know. Shame on me.
22. Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston
23. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
24. I Want Your Sex, George Michael
25. Notorious, Duran Duran
27. (I've Had) The Time Of My Life, Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- come on. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
29. Lean On Me, Club Nouveau
30. Open Your Heart, Madonna
31. Lost In Emotion, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
32. (I Just) Died In Your Arms, Cutting Crew
33. Heart And Soul, T'pau
34. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde
35. Keep Your Hands To Yourself, Georgia Satellites
37. Control, Janet Jackson
38. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
39. U Got The Look, Prince
40. Land Of Confusion, Genesis
42. Who's That Girl, Madonna -- what was with the Spanish, anyway?
43. You Got It All, Jets -- my song for a certain soccer player. Damn him.
44. Touch Me (I Want Your Body), Samantha Fox
46. Causing A Commotion, Madonna
47. In Too Deep, Genesis
48. Let's Wait Awhile, Janet Jackson
51. Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac
52. Luka, Suzanne Vega
53. I Heard A Rumour, Bananarama
55. Songbird, Kenny G
56. Carrie, Europe
57. Don't Disturb This Groove, System
58. La Isla Bonita, Madonna
60. Sign 'O' The Times, Prince
61. Change Of Heart, Cyndi Lauper
62. Come Go With Me, Expose
63. Can't We Try, Dan Hill
64. To Be A Lover, Billy Idol
65. Mandolin Rain, Bruce Hornsby and the Range
66. Breakout, Swing Out Sister
67. Stand By Me, Ben E. King
68. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis
69. Someday, Glass Tiger
70. When Smokey Sings, ABC
72. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
73. Rock Steady, Whispers
74. Wanted Dead Or Alive, Bon Jovi
75. Big Time, Peter Gabriel -- just for the line "and a snow-white pillow for my big, fat head."
76. The Finer Things, Steve Winwood
77. Let Me Be The One, Expose
79. Diamonds, Herb Alpert
80. Point Of No Return, Expose
81. Big Love, Fleetwood Mac
82. Midnight Blue, Lou Gramm
83. Something So Strong, Crowded House
84. Heat Of The Night, Bryan Adams
86. Brilliant Disguise, Bruce Springsteen
87. Just To See Her, Smokey Robinson
88. Who Will You Run To, Heart
89. Respect Yourself, Bruce Willis -- he was so CUTE back then
92. Don't Get Me Wrong, Pretenders
94. Right On Track, Breakfast Club
95. Ballerina Girl, Lionel Richie
96. Meet Me Half Way, Kenny Loggins
97. I've Been In Love Before, Cutting Crew
98. (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys
99. Funkytown, Pseudo Echo
My three favorites of that year were U2, Crowded House, and the Beasties. They're all still my favorites. U2 is, well, the phenomenon that is U2. Crowded House is no more but Neil is out there, making his beautiful pop songs. And the Beasties are 40+ and better than ever.
I knew there'd come a day when I'd hear U2 on the classic rock stations. That the 80s would be far enough away for people to be nostalgic for them. That I'd play these songs in the car and my child would roll his eyes. I knew.
I just didn't know it would happen so fast.
8.04.2005
Health questions answered
I'm the queen of self-diagnosis, but I never saw this one coming.
My sore throat, hoarse voice and chronic cough aren't coming from upstairs at all, but down. It's GERD. Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease.
In other words: what goes down must come up.
I went to a specialist, finally. I liked Dr. Shipley at first. He came in with one of those Dr. Kildare reflectors on his head.
Yeah. Like that, only not scary.
So talked to me about my symptoms, and I was thinking asthma, allergies, too much secondhand smoke. Then he put the scope up my nose and fed it down my throat so he could snap pictures of my innards. This is not a pleasant experience. Miles would tell you that I have no discernable gag reflex, which is why he loves me so. Dr. Shipley hit crap with the camera that darn near made me hurl across the room. And, as he moved the frickin' thing up and down my main pipe, he kept asking me to vocalize "heeeeeeeee." It came out more like "aaaaaaaakkkkkkkphbttt." All five times.
I crossed my eyes and watched the camera as it came out of my nose. Damn you for laughing, Doctor Shipley!
The glossy pictures of my glossy, pink epiglottis revealed that I have a node on my vocal chords, causing the hoarseness. And now, I can identify the sore throat for what it really is: bile backwash.
My life has turned into a list of NOs:
No coffee
No soda
No spicy food
No large portions
No eating before bedtime
No sleeping on my stomach
No smoking
No beer
No bad habits
The more I consider the list, the more I realize that I could have been driven to this by much more serious problems. Which makes me feel oddly lucky.
It's just GERD. It's not heart disease or diabetes or (I hate to even think it) cancer. It's just bile backwash.
Hell, who knows? I may get healthier, just because I got sick.
My sore throat, hoarse voice and chronic cough aren't coming from upstairs at all, but down. It's GERD. Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease.
In other words: what goes down must come up.
I went to a specialist, finally. I liked Dr. Shipley at first. He came in with one of those Dr. Kildare reflectors on his head.
Yeah. Like that, only not scary.
So talked to me about my symptoms, and I was thinking asthma, allergies, too much secondhand smoke. Then he put the scope up my nose and fed it down my throat so he could snap pictures of my innards. This is not a pleasant experience. Miles would tell you that I have no discernable gag reflex, which is why he loves me so. Dr. Shipley hit crap with the camera that darn near made me hurl across the room. And, as he moved the frickin' thing up and down my main pipe, he kept asking me to vocalize "heeeeeeeee." It came out more like "aaaaaaaakkkkkkkphbttt." All five times.
I crossed my eyes and watched the camera as it came out of my nose. Damn you for laughing, Doctor Shipley!
The glossy pictures of my glossy, pink epiglottis revealed that I have a node on my vocal chords, causing the hoarseness. And now, I can identify the sore throat for what it really is: bile backwash.
My life has turned into a list of NOs:
No coffee
No soda
No spicy food
No large portions
No eating before bedtime
No sleeping on my stomach
No smoking
No beer
No bad habits
The more I consider the list, the more I realize that I could have been driven to this by much more serious problems. Which makes me feel oddly lucky.
It's just GERD. It's not heart disease or diabetes or (I hate to even think it) cancer. It's just bile backwash.
Hell, who knows? I may get healthier, just because I got sick.
A favorite thing
Occasionally, you'll read a news story that you MUST clip. And keep. And read when things are going particularly rough.
This is mine, from a few years ago. It was in one of those space-filler sidebars in the yokel paper.
There are many, many fabulous, smart-assed comments you could add on your own. But, you'll find the unblemished article, suffused with the cub reporter's glee, is perfect. Just the way it is.
This is mine, from a few years ago. It was in one of those space-filler sidebars in the yokel paper.
Big-rig crashes, killing 107 pigs
HESPERIA, Calif. -- A big-rig hauling 207 pigs careened off fog-shrouded Interstate 15 at the Cajon Summit, killing about half of the shipment of swine.
Trucker Roger Arduin, 52, wasn't hurt. Arduin lost his way in the fog in the southbound lanes of I-15 near Highway 138 early Wednesday and the big-rig went over the embankment, California Highway Patrol officer Kevin Haney said.
Animal control officers planned to dispose of the 107 dead pigs, either at a landfill or by incineration. The survivors continued their journey to a slaughterhouse.
There are many, many fabulous, smart-assed comments you could add on your own. But, you'll find the unblemished article, suffused with the cub reporter's glee, is perfect. Just the way it is.
8.03.2005
I'm baaaaaaack.
For now, that'll have to do. There's so much going on: I'm on a home search, I've been sick for what seems like two months, my dog had a health scare that flattened me for a few days and my little guy is not only turning seven in two weeks, but he's also starting second grade at the end of the month.
I mean, wow!
Here's what I've learned, though: you never EVER ask "what else?" because you'll always get an answer. And it's usually not the one you wanted.
So in the meantime, I'm just chugging away on the ol' crapvertising career and juggling everything else.
I mean, wow!
Here's what I've learned, though: you never EVER ask "what else?" because you'll always get an answer. And it's usually not the one you wanted.
So in the meantime, I'm just chugging away on the ol' crapvertising career and juggling everything else.
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