The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed. When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants. – Theodore Roosevelt

7.23.2004

Sandy Berger's pants - New Revelations!

Before I continue, I just have to say that nothing has appeared in my pants "by accident" since I was three.

Onward . . .

The Borowitz Report has very good news:

OSAMA FOUND IN SANDY BERGER’S PANTS

War on Terror Over

The war on terror came to an unexpectedly abrupt end today as the al-Qaeda network kingpin Osama bin Laden was found hiding in the pants of former national security adviser Sandy Berger.

While lawmakers on both sides of the aisle celebrated the discovery of Mr. bin Laden in the former White House aide’s trousers, this latest episode left Mr. Berger, once again, with much explaining to do.

The former adviser to President Clinton said that his lawyers would not permit him to divulge how, when, or why the world’s most wanted man had found safe haven in his pants, but he did tell reporters, “It was an honest mistake.”

At the White House, President George W. Bush ordered an immediate and thorough search of Mr. Berger’s pants “to see what else might be in there,” hinting that the discovery of Saddam Hussein’s long-sought weapons of mass destruction might be at hand.

With the war on terror suddenly over, the White House was said to be casting about for another human emotion to declare war upon, with many speculating that the U.S. would soon announce a war on irritability or shyness.


Hee hee.

600 Pages of Blather

Also known as the 9/11 Report.

We can have Commissions. We can listen to pundits. We can watch the politicians jockey for the high ground, and we can watch the fingers point anywhere and everywhere. I've listened to a lot of commentary and read a few points of view, and still we can't be sure that what happened that day could have been averted. "Serious intelligence failures" are only part of the problem, I fear. Because the reason 9/11 occurred goes far beyond 19 terrorists - both known and unknown - making their way onto commercial airlines with sharp instruments.

An aside here, though: why was it ever okay for someone to board an airplane with no luggage save for a box cutter? Have you ever, when you're packing for a trip, said to yourself, "toothbrush, floss, clean underwear - ooo! almost forgot the box cutter!" The CIA and FBI weren't the only ones experiencing serious intelligence failures.

9/11 stands as the most horrifying day in a long line of them - from the Beirut bombing, to the Cole, to our embassies in Africa. The hatred was there long ago and according to the report,

...In this sense, 9/11 has taught us that terrorism against American interests “over there” should be regarded just as we regard terrorism against America “over here.” In this same sense, the American homeland is the planet. But the enemy is not just “terrorism,” some generic evil. This vagueness blurs the strategy. The catastrophic threat at this moment in history is more specific. It is the threat posed by Islamist terrorism —especially the al Qaeda network, its affiliates, and its ideology.

As we mentioned in chapter 2, Usama Bin Ladin and other Islamist terrorist leaders draw on a long tradition of extreme intolerance within one stream of Islam (a minority tradition), from at least Ibn Taimiyyah, through the founders of Wahhabism, through the Muslim Brotherhood, to Sayyid Qutb. That stream is motivated by religion and does not distinguish politics from religion, thus distorting both. It is further fed by grievances stressed by Bin Ladin and widely felt throughout the Muslim world—against the U.S. military presence in the Middle East, policies perceived as anti-Arab and anti-Muslim, and support of Israel. Bin Ladin and Islamist terrorists mean exactly what they say: to them America is the font of all evil, the “head of the snake,” and it must be converted or destroyed.

It is not a position with which Americans can bargain or negotiate. With it there is no common ground—not even respect for life—on which to begin a dialogue. It can only be destroyed or utterly isolated.


Emphasis added. (via Wizbang)

Destroyed or isolated. Well, we've seen that they refuse to be isolated, especially since our conversion or destruction is their goal. So "destroyed" is our other option. Kill or be killed. How black-and-white.

So without endorsing pre-emptive war, the report seems to endorse pre-emptive war.

This is the world we're living in - the one we never hoped for, but the one we're stuck with, nevertheless. I imagine the many ways that statement "destroyed or utterly isolated" can be implemented.

And I'm afraid.

Write something, for God's sake.

Something.

Does it ever feel like there's just too much going on in the world? Times like this, I just want to hunker down and contemplate nothing more earth-shattering than good barbecue.

Along that line, the Love Of My Life (that's Captain Chicken Wing to you) and I went to Famous Dave's last night for ribs and beer. Now that's saucy, sauced-up happiness.

Some people are addicted to heroin. I'm addicted to slow-cooked pork skeleton slathered in Dave's Sweet and Zesty sauce. With a side of Texas toast.

It's a crazy world, so it's nice to find the yummy bits.

7.22.2004

Visiting the loony bin

Or as I call it, my occasional perusal of the AlJazeera website.

How many news sites have an entire navigation bar devoted to "Conspiracy Theories"?

I go because I want to read other people's points of view. I want to know what they consider news. I want to see which way the spin goes in other parts of the world.

In Australia, I hear it turns counter-clockwise.

Here he/she comes . . .

"Transsexual contest begins"

What defines tragedy?

To Jessica Williams, the "tragedy" is that she may actually go to jail for killing six kids.

I'd define that as "appropriate."

7.20.2004

since I don't have a single reader yet . . .

I'm gonna try something. It's my damn blog, after all.

One of my favorite bloggers is here.

I just typed a load of gibberish. Let's see what happens.

What a great start, part 2

I had a post, really I did, but when I pushed "publish" I got an error message.

Suckage.

Anyway, I live in Las Vegas, so time to time I'll probably comment on local stuff (other than the fact that it's insanely hot right now).

Our top stories today:

1) More drama in the Ted Binion murder trial

2) The Aladdin is defending their decision to evict Linda Ronstadt from the hotel after she dedicated her encore of "Desperado" to Michael Moore, which elicited a few boos and some tossed cocktails.

I don't even know where to start with #1. That thing's been a circus since the poor man was found dead.

As for #2? I'm still laughing - not because of what happened, but because of how strange it is. Someone makes a political comment on stage, and suddenly the people that run these vice parlors (let's not lie, folks) get all puckered and proper. More on that some other time. I'm off to get dinner.

Cheers.

What a great start

So I thought I'd tested this already, but it would appear not.

Trying again . . .